I'm Mormon and a homosexual; I have begged Jesus to help me, but nothing changes!

Hi Ralph,

I'm not going to bash you, or tell you that you are crazy. I think your efforts are extremely good. I think the points you are bringing up are valid. To me, you seem like a good guy, with a good heart. Putting forth effort not to talk down to people, but to try to help people. Not for one second do I think you are getting a thrill out of telling people it is a mistake to kill themselves because they are going to regret it. Rather, you REALLY DO care what happens to people. To me, it seems you really do want the best for people, for that I say God bless.

Adding to that above, I am having a very difficult time. I have been struggling, doing everything I know possible to deal with my pain, and trials. I do believe in God, and feel he loves us very much. It has taken me a long time to get that far, because of homosexual feelings I have had since the age of 4. I guess out of all the trials I could have been given, this would be the hardest for myself. I am now 19 years old, and have tried to draw close to the Lord in a lot of ways. I feel suicide isn't the answer, but it sadly looks like a last step. I am Mormon, and we are taught that being homosexual is a horrible sin. I literally have done everything in my power to change/deal with my feelings, including kneeling with all humility, and begging God and Jesus Christ for strength, and knowledge on how to deal with this. If I were to sum up all my feelings, they would be, "complete confusion." I want to do the Lord's will, but I don't know what that is. My family has moved away from me, and I feel my religion tells me I'm totally sick mentally.

When speaking about the topic of trying to overcome drugs, or alcohol, dealling with being pregnant, etc. They are all things people have choosen. I do not mean to be judgemental, but people made a choice to get involved with drugs, alcohol, or sleep around. I have never drank, done drugs, drank things with caffine, always exercised, watched my mouth, prayed, gone to church, read my scriptures, and tried to be loving towards one another. I did not choose to have homosexual feelings, I would have never choosen that. The confusion part for me is, people often think this is something people just woke up one day and chose. To that I ask, "why would I choose to be something that, makes my family sick, my religion condemns, and society is willing to kill me for?" The only thing I can think of that is like being homosexual is, being born handicaped, or being brain damaged, but instead of people being willing to help you, and call you special, you are called a fag, and hated, by religion and society.

Ralph, I support you very much in your efforts. I agree, that a lot of problems are ones we aren't willing to face. The wall for me is, whether I kill myself, or die a homosexual, I'm still going to hell, according to my church and christianity. I feel I'm being a drain on my family, financially and emotionally. To me it seems like a lose lose situation. I dislike sounding so negative and unwilling, but that is how I feel.

As for the idea of changing my feelings, I want to add, that I have seen a Mormon counselor for years now, read the lastest on ex-gay therapy, even tried self talk to help me change my feelings. Research has shown, that out of some few hundred gay men, going into a 7 year therapy session, only about 6 individuals reported a change in their homosexual feelings. But that was while they were still in therapy, much like loosing weight on a liquid diet. Sure you can loose weight while just drinking liquids, but will the weight return? A majority of the men on the panel truly felt that if they failed, they would find themselves in hell, and they still failed.

Thanks for your time Ralph, God bless you.

My response is in Green:

I will try to help you, but what I have to say may be upsetting to you. The reason I say that is because I believe that the Mormon religion has missed the mark and I want you to know the truth. I don't want to bash your religion, but as I said I want you to know the truth and to show you the truth will contradict what you have been taught for so long, however, I believe it will explain a lot of things about why you are having the problems you are having.

Let me start with the most important thing, that is Jesus Christ. Who Jesus is and who He has always been is the most important thing in salvation. Either He has always been God or He earned His place as God. As a Christian I believe He has always been God, but that approximately 2,000 years ago He took on human form and lived a sinless life and died a criminals death as a perfect sacrifice. Thereby taking the punishment for our sins; all our sins if we will just believe on Him and ask Him to be our Lord and Savior. On the other hand if He started as a created being and earned His status as God, then salvation is void and we are all lost in our sins. Those are the two differing points of view between Mormons and Christians.

I believe that the Bible is God's word and that 'every' thing we need to know is contained in it. I believe that it is the authority over any and every other book. So let's go to the Bible and see who Jesus is and who He has always been:

If you start in the Gospel of John you see this:

(John 1:1-3 NIV) In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. {2} He was with God in the beginning. {3} Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.

This passage clearly says that it was Jesus who created all things, and it also clearly states that Jesus is God. Now let's go to the beginning of the Bible:

(Genesis 1:1 NIV) In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

So we see from looking at these two passages that Jesus is at the beginning of the Bible, in the very first verse. Of course this is the pre-carnate Jesus, before He became a human, He was God. Now go to this passage:

(Genesis 3:15 NIV) And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.

This is immediately after Adam and Eve sinned. We see Jesus predicted here as the offspring of the woman. This is the first Messianic prophecy and it shows if we think about it that He would be born of a virgin. Offspring are always considered the seed of the man, except here where the Messiah is called the offspring of the woman. So we see that from the very beginning God had planned to redeem us by sending Jesus to earth as a human.

I am just trying to give you an overview, there are many many references to Jesus in the Old Testament but I will only give you a few examples. Next read Genesis 22:1-18. This is the story of Abraham being asked by God to take his only son and sacrifice him to God. This was a foreshadowing of what God was going to do for all of us. At the end of the passage God tells Abraham that all nations would be blessed because he was willing to obey God. This is again a prophecy about the Messiah. We know from this passage that the Messiah will be a descendant of Abraham and that He will not only redeem the Jews but also the rest of the world.

We know that the Messiah will be a man because of the predictions we have already seen, but He was to be much more as we can see from Isaiah.

(Isaiah 9:6 NIV) For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

We see from this verse that the Messiah will not only be human but that He will be God, and that He will be a son; God's Son. Next I want to show you one of my favorite prophecies about Jesus. Many people try to claim that He was so human that He had to try to figure out what God the Father's will was. Well if we look at this passage we will see that indeed He was fully human (while remaining God) but that He had a teacher; God the Father Himself:

(Isaiah 50:4-5 NIV) The Sovereign LORD has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught. {5} The Sovereign LORD has opened my ears, and I have not been rebellious; I have not drawn back.

The passage goes on to show us that Jesus would suffer for us:

(Isaiah 50:6-7 NIV) I offered my back to those who beat me, my cheeks to those who pulled out my beard; I did not hide my face from mocking and spitting. {7} Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame.

We know this happened during Jesus' trial:

(Mark 15:15-20 NIV) Wanting to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas to them. He had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified. {16} The soldiers led Jesus away into the palace (that is, the Praetorium) and called together the whole company of soldiers. {17} They put a purple robe on him, then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on him. {18} And they began to call out to him, "Hail, king of the Jews!" {19} Again and again they struck him on the head with a staff and spit on him. Falling on their knees, they paid homage to him. {20} And when they had mocked him, they took off the purple robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him out to crucify him.

Then read Isaiah 53, it is a short chapter but very full of information. We know from Isaiah 53 that the Messiah would die for our sins, we also know that although it was men who condemned Him to death, it was due to God's will. Here again we see that from the very beginning it was God's plan to redeem us by having Jesus come to earth as a human. This is again shown in this passage:

(Romans 5:8 NIV) But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

The name Christ is another name which means: Messiah. We say that Jesus died in our place, yet we will die physically, so it is important for us to understand that Jesus died for us spiritually, but He also arose physically, so that we can have the hope of also being alive physically for eternity.

(1 Corinthians 15:21-22 NIV) For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. {22} For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive.

And here is one of my favorite verses:

(Job 19:25-27 NIV) I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. {26} And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; {27} I myself will see him with my own eyes--I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!

We see here that even though we die we will still see Jesus with our own eyes; our own physical eyes after the resurrection. Wow that is a great promise. And to go along with that go to the back of the Bible:

(Revelation 21:4 NIV) He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

Think about that, no more pain, no more sorrow, no more death, no more tears... I long for that day, but I know it is coming.

Now this goes again against what the Mormon church teaches. We will not be gods of our own planets, we will remain human but will never die, never be sick, etc... All creation will be like it was suppose to be before sin came into the world. We will live on a new heaven and a new earth, and God will live with us:

(Revelation 21:1-3 NIV) Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. {2} I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. {3} And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God."

I know this is getting long, but please hang with me a little bit longer. You may be asking what all this has to do with your problem. Well it has everything to do with it, and here is why. Jesus tells us that He is the only way to get to God:(John 14:6 NIV) Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

But it has to be the right (real) Jesus. So if you have not believed that He is God and has always been God then you have never known the real Jesus and therefore you have never truly gained salvation.

If we will believe that Jesus is the Son of God and that He died for our sins, and if we confess our sins (admit them to God) and ask Him to forgive us He will. And if we believe that after He died God the Father raised Him back to life then we will be saved and if we die we will go to be with God. (Romans 10:9 NIV) That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

So the very first thing you need to do is go to the real Jesus and ask Him to be your Lord and Savior. He is able to help you with the problems you have.

Homosexuality is no greater sin the heterosexual sin. They are both sin and they will both cause a person to go to hell for eternity, but neither is worse than the other. You are right you did not choose to have these temptations, but your temptations are also no worse than those other people have. My point is this, we are all slaves to sin, until we give our lives to Jesus:(Romans 6:16-18 NIV) Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey--whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? {17} But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. {18} You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

Notice that after giving your life to Christ, you are no longer a slave to sin. He will give you the freedom to walk away from those temptations. When we are saved we become a new creation:(2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV) Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

You might want to visit this page: http://www.stonewallrevisited.com/menus/pages.html It is full of stories of people like you who found freedom through Christ.

Let me recap all of this for you. You need to believe that Jesus is the Son of God (meaning that He has always been God and is now God) that He came to earth in human form and died for your sins, that He was resurrected to life on the third day and is now sitting at the right hand of God. Then admit to Him that you are a sinner who can't change yourself, and ask Him to forgive you of your sins and take control of your life. At that point you are saved and if you die you will go to heaven and live for eternity with Jesus.

That does not mean that you won't be tempted after that, you will but if you will give God control of your life, He will help you resist. I realize that what I am telling you is hard, it goes against what you have been taught, but it is the truth. I have tried to give you lots of Scripture to back up what I have said, but it is all right there for you if you will go read it for yourself. Pray and ask God to help you understand. You can be free and a child of God.

I will pray for you. Feel free to write back. I am sorry this has gotten to be so long, but there was no short way to say it.

Ralph

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