When I am bored, I happen to type random things into whichever search engine is handy. The phrase "I want to commit suicide" slipped from my fingers, and I ran into your homepage.
So this email, in certain light, is quite by accident. And I half dont think you'll respond, which is just as well. I've never been much on the whole "chat" aspect of the internet, but these types of circumstances tend to come upon me when I have too much time on my hands. And I have something to say.
I, at the most, skimmed through your site. Biblical "stuff" holds my interest no longer, as I have found the flaw in Christianity and your "god".
You see, I am god. My own, at least. Why, may I ask, do you insist on selling your humanity - your reason for existing - to a "being" that blantantly states he loves your service, and he is stronger and better than you, and he wants you to love him so you can serve him for all eternity? Why, may I ask, is Satan viewed as evil? He is the most rightouse of the bunch of mythical creatures this bible of yours speaks of.
Because, you see, all the "sins" he commited are not sins. If any of it is true, he was cast from heaven because he saw his beauty, his strength, and he knew HE was god. His own god. Why is this wrong?
I already know your answers to the above question. But your writing ensued you had some level of intellegence, so I figured I may be pleasently surprised.
For the record, because when I speak like this people are apt to get the wrong impression, I am well aware of all the teachings of Jesus. I was brought up by a man such as yourself, who said the same things in assumingly the same tone. None of this comes from someone ignorant of your "faith" -such an ugly word - so please do not feel the need to explain the fundamentals, or even the deeper levels, of Christianity to me. I am well aware of them.
I want to know what YOU have to say.
My response is in Green:
I don't think there is much I can say to you that you will believe or understand. You say you know all about the message of Jesus, but it is obvious from your letter that you don't know God. That is fine, if you want to believe that you know everything and have rejected it in favor of being your own god, fine.
As for me, I know God and I am more than willing to serve Him. You are wrong by the way about what He wants. He does not want our service for service sake, He wants our love. He wants our love freely, not because we have to give it to Him. One day you and all the other self gods will have to bow before Him and acknowledge that He is God. But that is not the way He wants it to be. He would rather that we get to know Him and love Him because He loved us first.
(1 John 4:19 NIV) We love because he first loved us.
(Romans 5:8 NIV) But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
So why am I willing to serve God? Because I know He loves me and has my well being at heart. I love Him because He loves me. Serving Him is not a chore it is an honor. I know you don't understand that, but you asked me why and that is why.
He is my reason for existing. Been there done that and was not happy, I found my reason to live through God. Call me weak, call me stupid, whatever you please, but I would never go back to my old life. You can't, but if you could prove to me that there was no God, I still would not go back to my old life.
I hope someday you will find what you are truly looking for. He will be right there waiting. I just hope it is before it is too late.
E-Mail Ralph (whose comments are in green)
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