I am Angry at God!

Hello,

I don't know your name, other wise I would have written it, I would have looked for it but by the time I found It I probably would have dismissed the idea of e-mailing you. I was looking on the net for reasons for why God brings pain. Recently I have experienced a death in my life. Five days ago actually. This may sound stupid, but it is for some reason, a major lesson in my life. Back in april I got a little basset hound pup, that pup became my life, my only friend. He got sick june the fifth and died june the twelth. Night and day I prayed and prayed believing and knowing that Christ couldhave saved him, but he didn't. A lesson I will never forget. I tried to make the death a sweet smell to the Lord, but as the hours pass I grow more and more angry. I feel horrible saying this, but I am angry, at God. I realize that I have nothing, nothing I can say or do will ever change his mind. I used to believe we were free but now I'm not so sure. In a sense, we're prisioners. If you believe, you are saved; if you don't, to hell with you. What kind of choice do I have? Believe me, it hurts me to say what I am saying, but this is how I feel, I have no one to tell this to. Perhaps you can be an instrument today.

My response is in Green:

Thank you for writing me. I am sorry to hear about your puppy's death. I won't try to tell you that I understand why God did not answer your prayer, but I will tell you some of the things that I believe about both God and how He handles our prayer. Maybe that will help and maybe not.

I believe that God does love us and wants to do good things for us. However, I believe His view of what is good for us is often different than ours. We look at this life as everything. We can't see past what happens to us here and now, but God knows and truly understands that this life is no more than a whiff of smoke, less than the size of one atom in relationship to the universe compared to all eternity. He wants us to know Him and to trust Him and to be ready to live with Him for eternity. I have no idea why He does the things He does, however, I believe He often does things or does not do things so that we will grow spiritually. If He jumped every time we asked for something, when would we ever start accepting His will and His plan for us?

Why would God allow His people to suffer persecution? Again I can't tell you, but I know He does. Look at the early believers, most of the disciples were martyred. Many of the Christians around the world are being persecuted and many of them are giving their lives for their faith. You know what? The church (meaning the Body of Christ) is stronger in those countries than it is in our country where we have the freedom to openly believe whatever we please. We can worship any time we want, most of us have two or more Bibles in our homes, yet we are soft and our faith is weak. I have to believe there is a relationship there. The people who are suffering under persecution are trusting God everyday. The people around them watching are seeing their faith and the peace in their lives and are coming to Christ in great numbers, just like the early church. Yet in America where we have the freedom, people don't want to be like us because as they say we are; "hypocrites, have more problems than the world at large (did you realize that the divorce rate is higher in the church than in the general population?), we act like we are suffering when people call us names, etc... we (as a group) often walk around as if the weight of the world was on our backs, we fight among ourselves, we don't help each other," and the list goes on and on. Where is our joy? Where is the comforting thought that soon this life will be over and we will live for eternity with the King of the Universe? We lose sight of out goal so easily.

You said that as the hours go by you grow more and more angry. Why? Do you think God did this just to hurt you? Do you realize that before the fall in the garden of Eden there was no death? That is how God created this world, with no death and no pain, but mankind messed that up and allow sin in and now we all suffer the results. God does not take pleasure in your suffering, yet as I said above I believe there are times when He allows it so that we will grow and so we will get deeper roots.

You say that now you don't believe you even have a choice. Why do you say that? If you mean that choosing eternity in hell is not what you would ever do, then I agree with you, but it is a choice. Why do you think now that you are not free? What has changed? I hope this does not hurt you but the only thing that has changed is that God did not do what you asked Him to do. He does not want to be a genie in the sky that we only go to when we want something, He wants us to trust Him in the good times and in the bad times. He wants us to know that He loves us even when He knows that what is best for us is not what we want. Again I have no idea why He did not saved your puppy, but the final point is this; do you trust God or don't you? If your answer is 'I did until this happened' then your real answer is 'no I never did I just didn't realize it until now.' Yes I am blunt and I am direct, but I am also as honest as I can be. If you lost your faith and your trust for God because of this, then maybe just maybe God already knew you only trusted Him until something bad happened and He was trying to show you that so that you could grow and start really trusting Him.

(Hebrews 12:5-11 NIV) And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, {6} because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." {7} Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? {8} If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. {9} Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! {10} Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. {11} No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

I am not saying that God has told me this is how He is working in your life. I just know that He cares about us and because of that love He sometimes brings us through pain so that we will be more like Him. The Bible is full of such stories and people usually react one of two ways. They either get closer to God or then leave Him behind and look for solace somewhere else.

Try telling God (respectfully) that you don't understand and that you are angry, then ask Him to help you understand and to trust Him. Ask Him to mold your heart into what He wants it to be, and then let go and allow Him to work in you. I won't be easy but it will be worth it.

I hope I have not in any way hurt you, I sure did not mean to. Feel free to write me anytime you want to.

In Christ,
Ralph

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