Where is God? He doesn't seem to love me anymore!

Why do I feel like God does not love me? Where is God? I have given up everything for God, and where is he? It seems he doesn't care what happens to me anymore. All I do is go to church, go to work, and go home. I have lost everything I had, my car, my own place, my full-time job. I am using my brother's car, I am living with my mother, my step dad, and my two brother's in a two bedroom house. I am living out of boxes and bags. It's been this way for a while now. It seems everything got worse when I decided to give my life to the Lord. I don't mean to complain, I do thank God for having a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear, and my part-time job, but as a Christian, God promises me life more abundantly, is this life more abundantly. I have never thought about suicide so much in my life. Material things means nothing to me, but when it seems like God isn't there, or he just doesn't care, life can seem unbearable. It seems he has totally shut me out, and all I do is serve him. I follow his commands, I do what the bible says do, and he still doesn't come to see about me. Can God stop loving you. I can understand if I was still sinning, but I am obeying his commands, and it seems he doesn't even care. I see people still living in sin, prospering everyday, and I'm doing all I can living a life that's pleasing to him, and he doesn't even care, why is this so? Can God stop loving you, or am I the first one?

My response is in Green:

Thanks for writing me. I wish I had a quick answer for you, but I don't. I do have a couple of answers to questions you asked, but not a quick answer that will make it all better. First and foremost, God will not stop loving you... you can take that to the bank. Is is there with you too, as long as you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior then God is with you and He will stay with you. That does not mean that all your troubles will go away, as you have already seen, but it does mean that you will never be alone.

Because I don't know you and I don't know what is going on other than what you have told me, I will have to give you some generalities. I hope that is okay. First are you spending time everyday in prayer and reading your Bible? I ask this because when we are having a bad time it often seems that the first thing to go is our time with God. It is more important than ever to stay in contact with God at times like this. Next you need to understand what is going on. You are under attack by the enemy, Satan. He can't take your salvation from you, but he sure can make you miserable and when you are miserable you probably aren't out there being an on fire witness for Christ. That is why he attacks Christians, so that they won't tell everyone they see how great God is and how wonderful it is to be a child of God.

Next, never think that God is punishing you for something. He does not operate that way, when you accepted Christ as your Savior you debt was paid in full... period, finished. That does not mean that we won't have to deal with the physical or emotional consequences of past sin, but you won't ever come under God's judgment for them. You should read Ephesians 6:11-18. In it Paul talks about our struggles and that our fight is against an unseen enemy, but God is faithful to help us.

Never ever give up. Remember that you belong to the King. The good news is this. if you were headed in the wrong direction Satan would leave you alone, so in a way it is a blessing that things are going poorly for you. For example, look at the Christians around the world. In America where we can worship openly any time we want, our churches are mostly empty. In China, where a person can be imprisoned or even killed for having a Bible on them, the house churches are thriving. I will tell you the reason, because the Christians in China know that they have to lean on God for help. They pray constantly. In America, we often think we are doing pretty well by ourselves so we don't really need God's help. We don't pray, we don't read our Bibles, we seldom really think about or talk to God.

I wrote an articles a while ago about suffering that you might like to read. It is about physical suffering, but the same things could be said about emotional suffering. The URL is: http://www.behindthebadge.net/a46.html

I hope that helped you a little bit. Please feel free to write anytime. The other thing I would suggest is that you talk to God the way you talked to me. Tell Him you don't understand where He is, tell Him that you feel that He has abandoned you. I believe with all my heart He cares. He knows what is in your heart but like any earthly parent He want to hear it from you. If you don't believe me just look at His Word. Look at these verses: (Habakkuk 1:2-3 NIV) How long, O LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, "Violence!" but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds.

Or this one: (Lamentations 3:8-17 NIV) Even when I call out or cry for help, he shuts out my prayer. He has barred my way with blocks of stone; he has made my paths crooked. Like a bear lying in wait, like a lion in hiding, he dragged me from the path and mangled me and left me without help. He drew his bow and made me the target for his arrows. He pierced my heart with arrows from his quiver. I became the laughingstock of all my people; they mock me in song all day long. He has filled me with bitter herbs and sated me with gall. He has broken my teeth with gravel; he has trampled me in the dust. I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is.

As you see you are not the first person who has felt that God forgot them. He is always faithful, but not always when and how we think He should be.

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