I think I am under a generational curse; my mother was a witch.

I suppose I have lost the understanding of the power of God because I decided to carry it on my own. I remember why, it was because God was taking too long. I know everything has it's own time and place but I see many people so much more fulfilled because they have found support in others. Why is it that I have no support from others? I am forced to go it alone and I don't know why. I've asked God countless times and get no response on that one thing. I'm not feeling self-pity; I really see the difference in my life of lonliness and others who haven't gone through what I have. Am I jealous? The bible says thou shalt not covet another's blessing. I just compare and feel as though I am being punished for something I have done but can't remember what it was or is. How can one be strong without a support system. Am I angry at God? I'm not sure. One can be angry at their earthly father and that earthly father still loves the child, except in my own case. Okay. God has a job for me to complete. He can't tell me what to do or how to do it. Although he says he loves me, how can he ignore me? These are tough questions that I think upon all the time. Today I said that I would be happy with the blessings that I do have ~ I am aware of them, but I'm not totally sure how long it will work or if I can actually do it. When people are too weak to pray for themselves, someone needs to intervene for them. I called a friend today who is Christian. She said I have a curse on me from my mother, that my mother is a witch. I don't know how she knew that but it is true, she is. If there is a curse on me through my mother, then God is stronger and shouldn't let the curse play any role in my life. I am not God, God is God, he has all power and I have none. Why is he holding back on me, curse or no curse? I am sorry that I sound so pitiful, I'm just tired.

I have prayed and prayed and then not prayed. I am still in the same place approaching the dead end. I can't help myself for saying these things. even if I don't say them I think them. I am in a terrible mess and need a miracle, but more than that, I need an answer from God himself. Nothing else will work. Let's see if he answers me. He knows my heart and he knows I am tired. I call upon him to answer me now before it is too late.

My response is in Green:

I appreciate your honesty. I think that is a great first step. I agree that the support of Christian friends is important, but it is not the most important thing. The most important thing is the support of God. I can't speak for God, but I think I might have some insights for you. Maybe God is holding back because He wants you to first realize that you need Him and His support above all else.

You are not the first person to feel this way. If you read your Bible you will find many of the people who felt all alone and complained to God about it. You should read the book of Lamentations sometime. Chapter 3 is very much like you feel. Here is just a short passage: (Lamentations 3:14-18) {14} I became the laughingstock of all my people; they mock me in song all day long. {15} He has filled me with bitter herbs and sated me with gall. {16} He has broken my teeth with gravel; he has trampled me in the dust. {17} I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. {18} So I say, "My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the LORD." The prophet is talking about God when he says He has broken my teeth, etc...

Paul also felt like you do at one time: (2 Corinthians 1:9) {9} Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. I believe Paul is saying he wanted to die, maybe even commit suicide, but he later realized it was all because God was teaching him to rely on Him.

Maybe you have to trust God first even in those times when it appears He is not listening, in order to get where He wants you to be so He can give you what you want. We serve an Awesome God who loves us, but He knows better then we do what we really need. We know what we want, He knows what we need. There is a difference. He is preparing us to spend eternity with Him, and that sometimes is a painful process.

You said that when people are too weak to pray for themselves they need someone to pray for them. I agree and that is exactly what Jesus does for us. He is our advocate before the Father. The Bible also says that the Holy Spirit, who lives in every Christian will pray when we can't find the words. So you see you already do have prayers being given to the Father on your behalf.

Now as to your 'friend' who told you that you were under a curse. I have to wonder what kind of a friend this is who would tell you that. Second it is not true and I will prove it to you by God's word. If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior, then you are a child of God. You are no longer viewed as a child of your earthly parents, so what they did or did not do does not reflect on you. Not only that but as I said I will prove this to you with God's words.

The Israelites used to have a saying that if the father ate sour grapes the children's teeth were set on edge. What they meant was that if a father did something wrong it would be held against the children. Here is what God told Ezekiel to tell the people: [Ezekiel 18:2-3] {2} "What do you people mean by quoting this proverb about the land of Israel: "`The fathers eat sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge'? {3} "As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, you will no longer quote this proverb in Israel. There are two other verses which are important to read in the same chapter: [Ezekiel 18:19-20) {19} "Yet you ask, `Why does the son not share the guilt of his father?' Since the son has done what is just and right and has been careful to keep all my decrees, he will surely live. {20} The soul who sins is the one who will die. The son will not share the guilt of the father, nor will the father share the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous man will be credited to him, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against him. This whole chapter would be good to read, but those verses show what God thinks of generational sin; He does not go by it. If you turn to God it does not matter what your parents did, or how evil they were, you are a new creation in Christ.

This generational curse thing is very popular teaching these days, but it does not hold up to scripture. Is it true that some of the things your parents did will have an affect on you? Of course, but not spiritually, we are all accountable for our own sins and our own choices when it comes to salvation.

You need to find some Bible believing, God trusting Christians and hang around with them. Don't tell them all your problems right up front, just get to know them and get support in learning to trust God and to study His word. I bet you will find that you also get support for your other problems as well. People are human and if the first thing they learn about you is that you feel like dying and that no one cares about you, they feel like you are in a hole and if they are not careful they will fall in with you. It is natural for them to pull away. If on the other hand you meet people are you show that what you really want and need is to be closer to God, if they are true Christians they will want to help you with that.

You need to read your Bible every day also. Faith comes from God's word. Read when you don't feel like it and read when you do feel like it. You have to fight this battle. The enemy of your soul will not give up, you have to allow God to fight for you. Our God is not powerless, He is not slow to answer either, but sometimes the answer is held up for one reason or another. Maybe it is us or maybe it is an attack on the messenger like happened when Daniel prayed. Don't give up!!

Ralph

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