Where does a believer go for help when they have no self-esteem?

I started Search for Significance but never really got started in the sense I read and I could not open up the hurt I HELD in my heart at that time.

I have been in therapy for severe depression, post traumatic stress disorder and suicide.

I am a Christian, born again Christian for 16 years. I have battled depression from my youth.

My question to you is where does a believer in Jesus Christ, God the Father, the Holy Spirit, the virgin birth, Bible being the inspired word of God go for help when they have no self-esteem, issues that they tried to bury (in their heart not out in the back yard or compost heap where they belong) the abuse from childhood and/or marriage?

I wanted to do Search for Significance with women in my church. I have learned in the last two years that sharing as helped me to let go of the past hence bury it in the compost pile so that it would turn into something good to nourish my walk and life. My pastor asked that I wait he felt I was not ready for the challenge yet. I have medical condition that is just getting take care of (it is not of mental, it is hypothyroidism).

Second question: What about Healing For Damaged Emotions Workbook by Seamands/Funk?

My response is in Green:

I must admit I have not read the Healing for Damaged Emotions Workbook, so I can't really comment on it.

You asked where a Christian is to go for help. To God's word. That is my problem with all these books, etc.. they claim to have the answer for you, but they do not lead you to God or to His word. Lets look and see what God has to say about that: (Jeremiah 17:5-9 NIV) This is what the LORD says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD. {6} He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. {7} "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. {8} He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." {9} The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

Here is the bottom line, the world will tell you that your problem is low self-esteem, but that is a lie. If you esteem Christ above all else and follow His commandments: to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself, then you will be in the right position. Self-esteem tends to lead people away from God not towards Him. God sent His only Son to die a horrible death for you, because of the sins you have committed, what more do you need to know?

It is not wrong to share your pain and hurts with others, that often does help, but the only being that can heal your hurts is God. He owes you nothing, but He loves you and therefore offers you a place in His family as a child. He is a loving Father who wants to help you, but you have to be willing to give up your victim hood and your will to His. God can help you with your depression and PTSD too.

God's word gives us what we need. (Psalms 19:7-11 NIV) The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple. {8} The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes. {9} The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the LORD are sure and altogether righteous. {10} They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb. {11} By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.

Reviving the soul, giving joy to the heart, giving light to the eyes. That is what God's word offers you. Jesus went on to say this: (Matthew 11:29-30 NIV) Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. {30} For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Rest for your soul, isn't that what you really long for? No one else can promise you that, no one else can show you how to obtain that, only God.

I too went through a time of contemplating suicide. I wanted rest for my soul so badly. I was weary and felt alone. I found rest for my soul through Jesus Christ, but it is not automatic, you have to give you life to Him. I mean all of your life. You have to be willing to give up the pain and the victim hood and quit looking back on it. There is nothing you can do to change the past, all you can do is allow Satan to defeat you with it day after day. Your future is in the Lord and that is where your eyes and your attention should be. You should be focused on Christ, He is your only hope in a desolate wasteland. His word is a sweet spring of living water, it is there for you, but only you can decide to go drink deeply of it. He will not force you to.

Do you need more faith? Guess where faith comes from: (Romans 10:17 NIV) Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.

Anything, book, pastor, elder, person, internet web page, you name it, anything which claims to have the answers for you without pointing you to God and His word is dead wrong and has man's wisdom. You have already seen what God thinks of man's wisdom; He curses those who trust in it. God says that the heart is deceitful beyond cure and that no one can understand it, so that would mean that the fathers of psychology: (Jung, Maslow, Freud, Rogers, et al) could not know it either. Yet we chase after their wisdom in the form of secular psychology or maybe we chase after their wisdom all dressed up in Christian terms and call it "Christian Psychology." There is no such thing. There is only psychology (which might be practiced by Christians) which is man's wisdom and then there is God's wisdom. One is cursed the other offers cure for the soul, rest, joy, and reviving.

Do you need to be reminded of the ultimate goal of this life? It is to be with Jesus for eternity. Here is a promise He has for us: (Revelation 21:4 NIV) He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

I long for that day, but until the Lord calls me home, I will try my best to live each day for Him. Only with His help is it possible to do that, but He has promised to help us there too: (Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV) Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. {29} He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. {30} Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; {31} but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

God is the answer.



E-Mail Ralph (whose comments are in green)

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