"Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out."
Even though we, on the Sheriff's Department, did not investigate traffic accidents, we always responded. We did this for a number of reasons. For one thing we were often the first ones on the scene, and if anyone needed help we would be able to assist.
One evening we received a report of an auto accident in front of a night club. Two of us responded and found upon our arrival that no one was hurt and both cars were off the highway. We decided to stay on the scene however, because the cars were in the parking lot of the night club and that meant that the Highway Patrolman who was coming to work the accident might need our help.
One of the drivers involved in the accident was a prominent business man who also happened to be a "little person" about 4 feet tall. He was married to a woman who was not a "little person", in fact she was quite tall. His wife arrived before the State Trooper. The other Deputy and I were sitting in my patrol car approximately ten feet away from him and his wife. They were looking at his car.
They started arguing about what he was doing at the lounge in the first place. It seemed like a harmless situation so we just sat there and watched, besides the Trooper should be there any minute so he could break them up.
The husband really got fired up about this time and we heard him shout, "Pick me up, pick me up!!!" What happened next, I had to see to believe. She bent over and grabbed him under the arms and held him up so that they were face to face. He then gave her a right-hand round house slap. Next he shouted, "Put me down!!" Just as calmly as she had picked him up, she set him down. He then stomped away to the front of his car.
Luckily they stayed separated. Even if they had started killing each other, we would not have been able to stop them, because we could not stop laughing.
The Trooper who arrived must have thought we had lost our minds. There we sat in my patrol car laughing so hard that we were crying. We did manage to calm down enough to tell him what had happened after he had finished his investigation. He laughed but I'm not sure he ever really believed us.
by R.L. Dettwiler