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Ezekiel 12:2 "Son of man, you are living among a rebellious people. They have eyes to see but do not see and ears to hear but do not hear, for they are a rebellious people." [NIV]

Once I was lost, but now I am found.

Like many of the other stories I've read on your site, I too felt a void in my life. I feared rejection and tried to mask the loneliness with drugs, alcohol, and sexual immorality. I had always done well in school and I'm sure gave the outward impression that life was great. I was too proud, strong, and macho to let others think otherwise.

On New Years night, 1983, I had enough. I went to a New Years eve party and consumed a fifth of Jack Daniels. I left the party went home and loaded my roommates 22. The bullet went through my temples, severing both optic nerves. The next thing I remember was hearing police officers asking me what happened? Who did this to you?

During the month of January I underwent 2 surgeries to repair the damaged caused by my suicide attempt. I also spent a week in a psychiatric ward. I lost my sense of smell and the doctors told me I would likely never see again. They were almost right. I have been totally blind for the past 28 years, yet during this time I have learned to see so much more than I ever did before. As a person who is blind, I have accomplished more than I could ever have imagined. I attained a Bachelors Degree in Business. I've been steadily employed for the past 21.5 years and my wife of 20 years is able to stay at home to care for our 6 beautiful children.

I was raised in a Christian home with loving parents who did their best to insure I had everything I needed. Why wasn't this enough? The reason was that although I knew who Jesus was; I didn't seek out or have a relationship with Him. While I lay in the hospital recovering from the fact that I attempted to take my own life, I asked why did Jesus save me? I knew the answer. I've always known the answer. First of all He loves me. Secondly He has a purpose for me. I believe he wants me to share my story of God's Amazing Grace. Amazing Grace how sweet the sound. I once was lost but now am found. Was blind but now I see. That song is now somewhat ironic to me as I once could see and was lost and now that I am blind, I am found. I have always felt ashamed of the stigma associated with attempting suicide; however, as time has past I'm feeling more and more of the urge to share what has happened in my life and that is what brought me to your site.

In Christ,

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