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So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

Special Deputy

Ralph, Thank GOD for your homepage !! I checked you out when I saw your invitation on another homepage. Having been in Law Enforcement myself, I wanted to see what a Deputy Sheriff had to say.

After reading your great testimony, I decided to share mine with you.

For four years I was a Special Deputy in a small town, ( police backup ) at night. Nothing like a big city, but we also had our experiences. The anger and dislike of some of the people we are sworn to protect. Getting cussed out by a wife because you brought her drunk husband home, instead of arresting him. Giving people a break when they are drunk and unruly and then they are ashamed and embarrassed later on so they decide they don't like you after that. I got tired of seeing all kinds of domestic abuse.

I, like you, got into marital problems, my wife started having an affair. I was sure of it, but if I would ask her she would deny it so strongly. I guess I just wanted to believe her. I started to drink more and more heavily. Pretty soon it became a crutch. I drank more and more. As soon as I got off work I headed for the booze. I had to have it. I didn't like the taste of it but after a few big shots I could calm down, and it would dull the ache in my heart. The more I drank the more depressed I got and began having thoughts about doing something to them. I had thoughts about revenge, and hurting them bad. The more I drank the more those thought would come. Of course I couldn't do what I was thinking, but the thoughts persisted.

Then I began to have thoughts about killing myself. The more I drank and became depressed the more those thoughts about suicide would come. They became stronger and stronger, and finally I decided that I would kill myself. I decided that I would do it the following day. That following day I found a note confirming that my wife was having an affair. I suspected it all the time, but the reality of that note just crushed me inside. I was so broken, nothing had ever floored me this bad. I was totally devastated, in total despair, the most completely hopeless feeling I had ever known. I just cried out loud "GOD help me, I can't go any farther". I don't know why I said those words , or why I cried out loud to a GOD that I thought didn't answer prayers anymore, and He in his love for us, saved me right there on the spot.

I was 46 years old at the time. I still have troubles but I am not alone in them anymore. My Heavenly Father promises to be with me in all of my troubles. There are many people out in the world that will never walk down a church Isle, I was one of them. Thinking that GOD couldn't possibly love them, But GOD knows this and He still loves us all, no matter what we have ever done, and if we will just give Him a chance He will change our hearts and lives forever. I didn't get saved in a church, but in my own bedroom. GOD will meet us wherever we are.

Acts 2 verse 21: And it shall be that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Psalm 34 verse 18: The Lord is near to the broken hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Thanks Ralph for letting me share my testimony. GOD Bless You!! GOD Bless all our Law Enforcement Officers!!

Your brother in Christ.

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