I am a Christian too, but suicidal too. I feel I have given everything to HIm and He betrayed me. My life has been crushingly hard, yet I do all for Him. He does only small ineffectual things for me, and meanwhile evil has completely taken this world. How can we promote God's work and God's name when we are given no resources and no help? We cannot do all things alone. I have put all in His hands. He has taken all from me and the work He begged me to do in His name is endangered by Satan's advocates. I cannot believe I am saying this, but God help me, Satan appears to be stronger and better-connected than God. Satan seems more powerful and more proactive protecting his interests than our Almighty God. What has happened to this world? We try to speak the name of Jesus, but our mouths are sealed shut and our tongues silenced. And God does nothing to help His people. It seems Satan fully runs this world and God is on vacation somewhere. Does He not hear us weeping? WHERE IS HE AND WHAT IS HE DOING? WE ARE TRYING TO SAVE HIS CHILDREN AND HE GIVES US CRUMBS WHILE SATAN'S ARMIES FEAST! WHY???
We are destitute and without hope. There is no answer but to return home to Him. Perhaps in His arms I will be answered "why".
My response is in Green:
I am a very blunt person so my reply may not make you too happy. I hope this message you sent me was the result of just having a very bad day. If it is truly how you feel then you need to re-evaluate your claim that you are a Christian, because you don't know the same God that I do. You don't seem to know that God who loved you enough to send His only Son to live on this earth, to be abused, beaten, spit on and then crucified, not for anything He had done but to save you from your sins and your just punishment.
Or maybe it is that you are one of those Christians who never bothered to read their Bible. You know the parts like where it says that if we follow Christ we will be persecuted, or the parts that say that suffering brings perseverance which leads to eternal life.
You claim to have put all in God's hands, but can you honestly say that includes your faith and trust? If you think so then you need to re-read your message to me. Now like I said maybe this is just the result of a very bad day, we all have them, but you need to trust God. Satan is not on the same level as God, he is not winning, he is just attacking because his time is short and he knows it.
Let me say one other thing, you talked about going to be with God and be in His arms. Why would you want to go to a God who was as weak and helpless as you seem to think He is? No you would be better off here. If you think God has betrayed you, then you don't have a savior and you better not take your life or Satan will have won at least in your life.
God has not failed you. Your whole message tried to point at God, but yet all it did was point at you. You have done everything for God, you have given Him everything, etc... It is time to wake up from your stupor and get your eyes either back on Christ or on Christ for the first time.
Yes I am blunt and I know sometimes I can hurt people by being so, but you have to understand that this is not about you, it is about God. You owe Him everything and He owes you nothing, not even the next breath. Have you eaten today? If so then thank God for it. Do you have clothes? If so then thank God. Get out your Bible and start reading it. Read Paul's letters to the churches. Most all of them were written from prison cells. Have you been in prison because of Christ? If so then praise God that you were found worthy of suffering for Him.
Have your efforts brought even one soul into the kingdom? If so then praise God, the angels do every time one soul comes to know God. Even if you don't know of anyone who has come to Christ because of your efforts, the point is you have no idea how God has used you, or if someone you don't know about came to Him because of your witness. However, the kind of witness you gave in the message to me will not win souls.
God has not been defeated by Satan but it appears that you have. Ask God to forgive you for thinking that He has betrayed you. If you are not willing to do that, then at least quit calling yourself a Christian so that you don't harm souls.
You said what happened to this world... Again you need to read your Bible. I will just quote one passage to you and it will tell you what happened and it will show you that we are in the last days. (2 Timothy 3:1-5 NIV)  But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.  People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,  without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good,  treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.
Quit feeling sorry for yourself and truly put God first. I hope I have not hurt you. If I have made you mad, so be it, I just hope you will get mad at the right being and that is your adversary Satan. Not at me and not at God, be mad at Satan and fight him on your knees and by reading your Bible. Get right with God and allow Him to give you strength. (Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV)  Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;  but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
E-Mail Ralph (Whose comments are in green)