I am a christian, and Jesus is the Lord of my life. My wife and I have been married for 23 years, we have 3 daughters who I love so incredibly much and a son in college of whom I am so proud. Our family has always been involved in our church, my wife serves on various commitees, and I teach adult sunday school, deacon and serve on various committees too. We have a great deal of influence in our community and have lead many people to my savior Christ Jesus. My wife and I bought a beautiful home 20 years ago near a lake in the Dallas suburbs and have raised our family here.
Nearly 3 years ago I started a new business and had dramatic early success. However, this past year saw my business struggle in early 2003 and most all of my major clients close out their accounts for various reasons. Soon, we had lost all our savings and now I find myself on the verge of bankruptcy. I have evaluated my situation, have decided that if I am unable to correct my financial situation soon, even allowing for bankruptcy to provide a window of opportunity, then I have no alternative but to use suicide and life insurance as a means to end this financial hardship. I feel that my wife will be able to raise our children on her own so long as she doesnt have to work. The life insurance on my life will eliminate all of our debt and leave her with $650,000 to provide her support and educate our children. Social security will provide her with an additional $3,500 per month for the next 14 years until my youngest daughter reaches age 22. She can continue to be very involved in our church which will be able to provide much support for my family.
Now, my children will be without a father. This is very difficult, for I too lost my father to suicide when I was 9 years of age. I had no support as a child, my mother was alcoholic and never around as I grew up, yet, thru this hardship and adversity beginning at age 9, I was able to stay ahead or out of trouble, work beginning at age 12 , got my degree, and had a very successful life. My children would have a much more favorable circumstance at my death than I did at my fathers death. They have a loving mother, support from family,friends, and our chutch which we are very, very involved. My wife and I are very involved with our children too, we have numerous family traditions that we have established over the years and I know of no other family that is as functional and close as ours. People are always commenting on how very special our family is and how so many look to us for advise and encouragement. But when I see the situation I now face, the decison to end my life is strictly a business decision.
And for this reason, and this reason only, I may soon have no choice but to excute this plan. I will write letters to all I love explaining my rationale, I know none will understand, there will be hurts, but time will have a way of taking away some of this pain. I have faith in Christ, my wife and children, and the many families that love and adore our family and they will all be there to help with my family during this time. You cant imagine how much I love life. I never meet a stranger. Life is so incredible, I love life, and want so much to watch my children grow and be there for them. But again, this is strictly a business decison. I feel I have evaluated all the options and realize that my decsion to end my life is permanent, one warranting very careful evaluation. I have planned out all the details, I soon will have my funeral arrangemnents in order and all the final instructions. I plan to make this as simple as possible for those I leave behind, even timning this event when it is best suited for my family, sometime after easter. That also gives me a little time to hopefully find another solution, but when and if the time comes, I will need to execute my plan without delay. Anway, I just though I'd write you guys just so that you can see that my situation is not the normal situation. I do love life, I'm not depressed, I am in great health, and again, this is only a business decison. I am sure there have been others who have made this same decision for the same reasons as I choose to make this decsion.
As far as my salavation, well, Christ Jesus has assured me that I am saved and that I do beleive He is the Christ. I know I will have a place in His kingdom and I am willing to sacrifce my life for those I hold so dear. Again, this in only a business decison.
OK, well, I have said what I need to say, if you write back, thats fine, if not, thats ok too. Lift me up in prayer and I hope this email may be usueful in your efforts to reach out to others in my same situation. I have found nothing anywhere online, or books, where someone provided testimony about facing similar decsions such as mine, that being, suicide as a business decsion. Most if not almost all websites fealing with suicide are reaching out to those who are lost. Yours is one of the few that addresses those who are saved. An you have made some valid points, but scriptures do assure me of my salvation, for I have accepted Christ Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
OK, well, Gob Bless.
My response is in Green:
Your letter makes me sad. It makes me sad that you think Jesus is the Lord of your life, when your whole letter shows that He isn't. I will get back to that in a moment, but first let me address suicide from a secular point of view. Do you realize that children of someone who commits suicide are 50% more likely to do so themselves? Your father committing suicide I am sure has something to do with your attitude towards it. Your family will not be better off if you kill yourself. Also you better check your insurance policy, most will not pay benefits against suicide.
I must also disagree with you about your salvation. I am not saying that you are not save now, but I do disagree that you can kill yourself and still go to heaven. Let me show you, and this gets to the point of whether Jesus is truly your Lord.
(Matthew 16:24 NIV) Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."
Can you claim to be denying yourself if you kill yourself?
(1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV)  Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;  you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
(1 Corinthians 3:16-17 NIV)  Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?  If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple.
How can you claim to be honoring God with your body as you kill it? You were created in the image of God and now you want to destroy that image, and think that God will just wink at your actions and welcome you into heaven. What is sin? It is rebellion against God, and what is deciding to take your own life? It is acting as the god of your own life. Only God has the right to say when you die.
I know that my point of view is not popular, but you better think long and hard. You can't serve God and yourself too. Oh you can make it sound like you are making a sacrifice for your family and therefore are just doing this for them, but you are still sinning against God. And as I have shown you, your death would do more harm than good.
Eternal security is true, but only for those who follow Christ and as I have shown you above if you decide to kill yourself you are not following Him. Let me be perfectly blunt, I believe if you kill yourself you will spend eternity in hell separated from God, regretting for eternity the decision you made, and worrying that you also led your children to hell. Yes that is blunt, but I only tell you that to help wake you up. You need to follow Christ!
(1 Corinthians 15:2 NIV) By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain.
If you hold firmly, suicide shows you were not holding firmly!!
(Hebrews 10:26-27 NIV)  If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left,  but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.
Suicide is a deliberate sin! Think about it.
(1 John 2:3-6 NIV)  We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands.  The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him.  But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him:  Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.
Can you claim to obey His commands while you are killing yourself?
(Ezekiel 18:21-24 NIV)  "But if a wicked man turns away from all the sins he has committed and keeps all my decrees and does what is just and right, he will surely live; he will not die.  None of the offenses he has committed will be remembered against him. Because of the righteous things he has done, he will live.  Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign LORD. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live?
 "But if a righteous man turns from his righteousness and commits sin and does the same detestable things the wicked man does, will he live? None of the righteous things he has done will be remembered. Because of the unfaithfulness he is guilty of and because of the sins he has committed, he will die.
I beg you not to turn from righteousness to wickedness (suicide).
(2 Peter 1:3 NIV) His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
Do you believe this passage? If so then you know that suicide is not the answer, Jesus Christ is the answer.
(1 John 5:3-5 NIV)  This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome,  for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.  Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.
Committing suicide is not over coming the world. Like I said you better think about these things. Satan has filled your mind with lies.
(Mark 9:42-48 NIV)  "And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.  If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out.  And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell.  And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell,  where "'their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched.'"
Why would Jesus teach this if sin in our lives did not matter?
(John 15:6 NIV) If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.
Again, if you commit suicide then you have not remained in Christ.
I hope you will think about what I have said, and then get on your knees and rededicate your LIFE to Christ and truly make Him your Lord and Savior.
E-Mail Ralph (Whose comments are in green)