You know, I walked thru your site... good stuff. What do you tell the person that has been a failure and taken advantage of people most of his life... then tries to change it. Problem is he (I) think I have but nothing did.
You know the only thing keeping from doing something is the fact that I'm scared and ask God to end it for me. Scared that the insurance won't pay off or that I'll mess things up and be the laughing stock or the freak if I fail.
Failure is something that I'm good at evidently. Failed a marriage. Failed my kids. Only thing I'm good at is providing the child support but if the neighbor has the check my daughter e-mails me to remind me of my duty to her (check goes to her mother even though she is in college). Current wife is my partner for life until it is the choice between her mother or me. Right now away in Oregon visiting her mother... I'm here with the wolves around my neck for money. She says she calls me because she's worried about me (not because she misses me I guess) but she won't come ack any earlier than her ticket date. Guess I go it alone. Don't know why I'm typing this Guess I just need to vent. In any event, whatever happens, thank you for just being somewhere that I could reach out to. Not to worry I'm too scared to do something that if I fail my career is over as well as my life. At least the career pays the bills (to some extent). Can't talk to many people about my thoughts.
Again thank you for at least letting me put this down.
My response is in Green:
Thanks for writing me. I am glad it helped a little bit just to write. I won't talk to someone about their problems until I am sure they understand their eternal situation. I was not sure from your message whether you are aware or not, so here goes. We are all born into this life as sinners. We have a sinful nature and we have all sinned. Sin is an offense against a holy God and God demands death to all beings that sin. That means that we all have a just, fair, death sentence hanging over our heads. There is nothing we can do about it on our own. We have all sinned and that is not something we can debate or argue about, it is a fact. (Romans 3:23 NIV) for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God
God being holy cannot just forget our sins and forgive us. His holy nature demands that the punishment be handed out for our sins. Yet, God loves us enough that He does not want us to be separated from Him for eternity, which is the only way we can pay for our sins ourselves. So He send His Son, Jesus to die for our sins and pay our price on the cross. Now all we have to do is believe in Jesus and ask Him to forgive us, and we can be reconciled with God. (Romans 5:8 NIV) But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
That is the whole point, we are born as evil no good beings, it is only through the blood of Jesus that we can have a new nature and be new beings. We cannot change ourselves, even after accepting Jesus as our Savior we will do bad things, if we try on our own. We need God to control our lives. One of the things that discourages new Christians and even old Christians is when they can't keep from doing something that they know they should not be doing. They often fail to give it to God and ask Him to take over in their lives. Only He can help us be victorious.
Anyway, I went through all that to tell you that you need to take all of this to God and tell Him exactly what you told me. Tell Him that you can't take this anymore, and that you can't do anything about it either. Ask Him to deal with it for you. He loves you and He will help you. He wants to have a close relationship with you. You need to read your Bible as much as you can and pray too. That is how we get close to God.
Feel free to write me and vent any time you feel like it. Of course I will probably write back and preach at you, but please know it is because I care.
E-Mail Ralph (Whose comments are in green)