What can God offer me?

Well I am having a tough time in my life and contemplating suicide every day. I don't even know how I stumbled across your web site. I was looking for ways to kill myself. It is kind of strange to be here on the computer for me at one o'clock in the morning. I guess it is because I can't sleep. well I just wanted you to know that I read most of what you had to say and even if it kept me alive for one more day thanks for letting me know what lies ahead for me. I can't picture myself living past the next two months. the only thing that has stopped me so far is the thoughts of what my family has gone through. Everyday I look out the window at work thinking I would like to go and by a shot gun to blow my head off. maybe even take some people out with me, some people that have crossed my path to make me feel like this. If you get a chance could you email me back and tell me a little bit more about what god could offer me.

Thank you and God bless.

PS. Usually I don't talk to cops right now I hate them but you seem alright God bless

My response is in Green:

Thank you for writing me. I am glad you stumbled across my website, but I must tell you that I don't think it happened by accident. I will try to tell you what God has to offer, but that is not the beginning of the story and I would not be doing justice to God if that is where I started.

The start of the story is who God is and who we are. First God is a holy being, who has existed forever. He has no beginning and He will have no end. He is complete in Himself. He needs no one for anything. He does not need companionship, He is not lonely, He is not bored, He does not need to experiment to see what will happen; in all aspects He is complete in Himself. Notice that I said He was holy. That is something that is kind of hard for us to understand, but here is a very simplistic explanation of what I mean. He has never done anything wrong and He never will. His nature precludes Him from sinning or doing anything wrong. Because He is holy He cannot stand to be around sin. All sin is an offense to Him.

Because we were created by God, and we need Him for our very existence, separation from Him would be a horrible thing for us. Many people claim they don't believe in God, or that they have never experienced Him, so they don't care if they are totally separated from Him for eternity. The problem with that kind of thinking is that it does not take into account that we are surrounded by God and His work everyday on this earth. God keeps this world alive and functioning. We breath because God allows us to, we feel the warmth of the sun because God allows us to. We feel love and compassion because that is an attribute God gave us. Without God, we would not have any of the good things of this life. All things which are good come from God. When a person is finally separated totally from God, they will have an overwhelming sense of loss and loneliness that we can't even imagine in this life.

Now to who we are. We were created by God, in His own image. That means that He gave us some of His attributes, like the ability to think and reason. He did not give that ability to the animals. He gave us the ability to choose to love or not. Again the animals don't have those attributes. We often talk in terms of love and hate as far as the animals go, but they do not truly have the ability to love or hate. They are driven by instincts. Many people try to say that humans are also driven by instincts, but that is not really true. We are driven by several things, which I will touch on in a moment but none of them are animal instincts.

When God created humans, (Adam and Eve) they were perfect. They did not have to worry about disease, or depression, or sickness, or wild animals or poisonous foods, etc.. Everything in this world was perfect. There was no death. They would have lived forever just as they were. The animals did not die either. God only told them that they could not do one thing and that was to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. That was it, they could do anything else. But of course that is what they did and as a result God cursed the whole earth. Death and decay started the moment they disobeyed God.

The world was no longer perfect and the way it was suppose to be. Now animals killed and ate each other and death was the order for all things. The disobedience of Adam and Eve was the first human sin, but every sin since then has also been a disobedience to God and His holy nature. The punishment for sin is death. We will all die physically but this death is a spiritual one, called the second death, and what it is, is being totally separated from God forever. I said earlier that we are not driven by instincts like the animals; rather we are driven by the sinful disobedient nature which was passed to us from Adam.

Okay I went through that so that I could explain what God has to offer you. He offers you eternal life as a free gift. See, after Adam and Eve sinned all humans were condemned to die for their own sins: (Ezekiel 18:4 NIV) For every living soul belongs to me, the father as well as the son--both alike belong to me. The soul who sins is the one who will die. Now we also know that we all have sinned: (Romans 3:22-23 NIV) This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, {23} for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God...

God could not change the law which said you have to die for your sins because His holy nature would not allow sin to go unpunished. Yet He loves us, so He sent His Son, Jesus to die in our place. After Jesus died God the Father raised Him from the dead. That is very important to us. If Jesus had died and not risen from the dead we would not have much to look forward to, we would still die physically and then we would be spirits forever. When Jesus rose from the dead He had a resurrection body, like those we will receive when we go to heaven. What is important about that is that those bodies will be like Adam and Eve were before the first sin. They will never need rest, they won't ever get sick or come down with a disease, but they will allow us to enjoy the physical things that God has created. For instance, spirit's don't eat or drink, they don't feel the warmth of the sun, etc.. These are things that God created for us to enjoy, so a physical body is important.

We can receive this free gift of salvation from God by simply believing that Jesus is God, that He died for our sins and that He is alive now in heaven, and by just asking Him to forgive us of our sins. (Romans 10:9-10 NIV) That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. {10} For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.

So that is the first thing that God has to offer you. In the big picture that is the only thing that really matters because it determines where you will spend eternity, however, there are a few things (benefits) which go along with it. One of those benefits is a peace in your soul that I am not sure I can explain. God calls it His rest.

I remember when I was away from the Lord, how I longed for something to make me feel better. I tried a lot of things but nothing helped more than a little while at a time. I knew that there was something missing from my life. I knew life was not suppose to be this way, but I was not sure what to do about it.

When I finally gave my whole life to Christ things changed. I am more happy now then I have ever been in my life. I have people tell me I am a fool because there is no God. Well you know what, I know there is, but even if there wasn't I would not change the way I am living my life, because I am the happiest and most fulfilled now that I have ever been. I have been a Marine, I have been a Police Officer, I have been a lot of things, but nothing has brought me satisfaction like being a Christian.

I still have a lot of struggles in my life and to be honest there are lots of times I don't feel like going on, I would love to just step out of this body and be with Christ in heaven, but it is not the same as the way I used to feel. I use to feel like I wanted to die so that I could rest and get away from the pain, now I just want to be with God because I love Him and I know He loves me. The fact that He gives me one more breath to breathe means He is not ready for me in heaven yet, so I am contented to stay here and do whatever He asks me to do. Maybe I am to witness to you about how much He loves you. Maybe after that He will welcome me home, I don't know, but I know whatever happens His plan for my life is perfect. That is a great feeling; to know that even if I don't understand what is happening it will be okay because the God of the universe is in control.

While I was in control of my life it was a mess. I did so many things that I hated. I felt like I wanted to die every minute, yet I was afraid to die. I was living but not alive. It took Jesus Christ coming into my life for me to understand what being alive meant.

Give God a chance. He loves you and He does not want you to live a life of misery and loneliness. I can remember being in Hong Kong and feeling very lonely. I was surrounded by millions of people, but yet I felt all alone. I don't have those feelings anymore, because I am never alone now. God is with me no matter where I go or what I have to go through. He wants to walk with you too, but it is up to you.

Let me ask you a question, what good would it do for you to kill yourself? What do you think it would accomplish? I ask that because I remember when I thought about death all the time. I always felt like death would give me rest and peace, but I realize now that it would have just made things worse. The problems I had then would have been permanently bound to my back. Instead I found peace and rest by taking those problems and dropping them at the foot of the cross. Hey, there is still room for a few more problems if you are interested in getting rid of them.

I would love to discuss this more if you would like to just write me back.

I will pray for you.

Ralph

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