If I am special in God's eyes then why....

Your message to others is quite spiritual. I was raised in the church and taught Sunday School for many years. One questions always causes me problems. If I am special in God's eyes, why did I get raped by my Father. If I am special in God's eyes, why did I have a mother who ignored the turmoil in our household and treated me with disrespect and often hatred?

I have a son that is a drug addict. He lives off and on the street and hates me one minute and loves me the next.

I have worked very hard to get through my emotional problems. I was in therapy for 9 years. The depression that I deal with on a daily basis (oh yes, I am on medication) forced my having to walk away from my career and stay home. I now depend on my husband to support me.

God does not love me. God does not know me. I no longer a productive person in society. I am a burden to by husband. I cannot deal with my son's problems. I have no reason not to commit suicide.

My response is in Green:

I guess it depends on what you mean by special. Let me ask you a couple of questions. What would you call someone who has a person they never even knew give their life to save them? What would you call a person who claims that another person does not know them or care about them, yet unknown to the original person this person is responsible for every breath the person takes? I guess I would call that person special, although I will tell you the truth, the most special person would be the one who died for the person who did not even know them and the one who was responsible for the other person's continuing to live.

Why is it that we can understand when we put it in human terms but we refuse to see when it is God we are talking about? God sent His only Son to die for your sins. He did that before you were born. He did that for all of us before we knew Him. He did that for people who reject Him and who revile Him. Why? Because He loves us. In a way that makes us special but more over it shows how special He is. We take our next breath because He allows us to, not because we have any control over the situation.

So I will go back to your original question, if you are special why... Well it is an unfortunate fact that we live in a fallen, sinful world. Why were you raped? I don't mean to down play the terrible thing that happened to you, but you would have to ask the person who did it to know why. It was his decision to do this to you. It was not that you were or were not a special person in God's eyes.

God loves us enough to give us choices and unfortunately many people choose to do evil. That shows the depth of the love God has for us. He sent His only Son to die for us even though He knew our hearts are evil. (Genesis 8:21 NIV) The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: "Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done.

Now many people try to blame God for everything that happens that is bad. They say, well God is in control and He could stop people from doing bad things. Yes He could, but then we would have no choice and without choice we are not free. Would you love a God who forced you to love Him? How about someone who puts a gun to your head and says "love me or I will kill you!"? I doubt it. God wants your love because you choose to love Him, not because you have no choice.

Next, could God kill people the moment they sinned? Of course, but do you really want that? The earth would be a very empty place if God did that, and heaven would be even emptier. The reason is this: (Romans 5:12 NIV) Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned- So none, not one of us would be alive if God killed everyone the moment they sinned. I thank God that He is merciful. I have done a lot of very sinful things in my life but God has forgiven me.

You said that God does not know you. I think you are wrong, He knows you, but you don't know Him. You don't understand Him. It would seem that you want Him to make your life perfect. If you accept Christ as your personal Savior your life will one day be perfect, but I have to tell you that won't happen in this life. That does not mean that there is not hope. There is hope, the hope that comes from trusting in God. Trusting Him to never leave you no matter what you have to face in this life. Trusting Him that your sins are forgiven and one day things will be made right and you will live a perfect life with no cares or worries. Trusting Him that He will be just with those who have sinned. That does not mean that all those who have sinned will be punished; thank God!! Only those who reject Christ will be punished for their sins. Those who turn from their evil ways and accept Christ will be forgiven and will also live a perfect life for eternity with God.

You can blame God for all that has happened to you, but if you do where is your hope? There is none outside of God. Or you can blame sin for what is wrong in this world and your hope can be placed in God, who will support and comfort you. He won't ever leave you or abandon you.

Here is the bottom line. You can continue to claim that God does not know or care about you and in the process forfeit the peace that He offers you. Or you can put the past behind you by realizing that it is part of the sinful world that we live in. You were not abused or raped because of what you did or who you were, you were a victim of a sinful world. No one can go back and change that. I am terribly sorry that it happened to you, but you must go on. You can see in your own life that the cycle of sin is continuing, it must be stopped and it can only be stopped at the foot of the cross!!

Don't let Satan rob you of the peace and rest and security that God offers you. I am sorry if you think I am uncaring or too blunt, but I truly believe what I have written to you. You said you have been in therapy for 9 years and that you are on meds. Enough is enough, you need God, He is your only hope. I have two passages of scripture for you. Take a close look at them and then decide if you want God's help or man's help, which you have tried for the past 9 years at least.

(Jeremiah 17:5-8 NIV) This is what the LORD says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD. {6} He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. {7} "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. {8} He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

(Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV) Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. {29} He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. {30} Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; {31} but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

It is up to you. Take control of your life and then give it to God. He won't let you down. Get to know who He really is and how much He loves you. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. God wants to help you, but the devil wants to keep you defeated. This is a battle and you can't sit on the sidelines. Get up and get into the fight it is for your eternal destiny.

One last thing. You said you have no reason not to commit suicide. You should read my "Why Satan wants you dead" page." It might help you realize what is going on.

Ralph

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