I think about suicide because I feel stupid.

HI, I have thought about suicide and it is because sometimes I feel so stupid, like I am not important to anyone, sometimes all I do is sleep to forget that my real life is pointless. I am naive and weak. I don't have any friends and I feel very alone,the only thing that loves me is my dog. I had big expectations for myself, I thought I would grow up and have a wonderful life and I'd be very successful, I used to think that God had given me a great talent for art and I would be famous, but now that I grew up, I opened my eyes and realized how stupid I was, and that none of the things I thought would come true happened to me, those things only happened to the people around me. I tried to blame it on my mom, I remembered when I was about 16 and she kneeled in front of me, with dispair and damned me, holding her hands as in prayer, she asked God that nothing good would ever happen to me, that anywhere I went, I would not succeed, and that anyone who'd meet me would hate me. Well I tried to blame it on her because everything she said happened,even I hate myself. Well, even if it was her damnation which I doubt greatly, my life sucks, and I mean everything. Sometimes I don't belive in God, and other times I do, I belive I am confused and I need some fulfillment In my life, I need help.

My response is in Green:

You are important to someone. God sent His only Son to die for your sins, so that you wouldn't have to and so you could spend eternity with Him.

You know we all go through times when we look back and think we were stupid. That is natural and everyone goes through it at one time or another. Maybe you won't ever be famous as an artist but that does not mean that God did not give you talent, or that you can't use that talent. You know only a few people are ever famous and the rest of us just keep plugging along.

I wanted to be this famous writer, who would publish books. Well it never happened, but you know I look at my website which now has well over two hundred pages and has been viewed by over a 1/4 of a million people and I know that what talent God gave me for writing is being used for Him. That makes me feel great. I am not proud, because I am not doing anything special, I am just writing to people who write me and telling them that God loves them, but it still feels good to know that God has sent so many people my way.

My point to all of that was that you don't know what God has planned for your life. If He gave you talent I am sure He means for you to use that talent to advance His kingdom. Of course the first thing you need to do is get right with Him, and the only way to do that is to accept Jesus Christ as your Savior. You will never be truly happy until you do. Been there, done that, I know what I am talking about.

You are right, what you mother did has no affect on you. It might if you don't ever accept Christ as your Savior, but once you do that, it will have no affect at all. When we accept Christ we are adopted into God's family. He becomes our Father and He takes care of His children. That does not mean that He makes you happy every second of every day, but it means that He watches out for you and helps you through this life.

Let me give you an example. In the late 1800's there was a shoe salesman. He was not very well educated, didn't speak very well and the best job he could get was selling shoes. One day a man came in and while buying a pair of shoes, he shared with the salesman who Jesus Christ was. You may never of heard of the shoe salesman, but his name was D. L. Moody.

D. L. Moody, quit being a shoe salesman and became a preacher. He still wasn't educated but he loved God and started preaching anyway. Many people laughed at him and thought he was just a country bumpkin, but he just kept on talking about God.

If you go to Chicago today, you will find two things; Moody Bible Institute and Moody Bible Church. Both are very well respected today. Moody is considered one of the great preachers of the past. I wonder if he ever thought the same thoughts you are thinking? I bet he did.

God did not create you or send His only Son to die for you and then not have a plan for your life. Don't underestimate God or His work.

(Romans 5: 7-9) Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. {8} But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. {9} Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! See your dog is not the only thing that loves you, God loves you. Would you rather have a thousand people love you, or God? Think about that, the Creator of the universe loves you!!

Life is not fair and I won't tell you it is, but I know that if you will accept Christ as your Savior, God will help you. Without God you will always be looking and never finding what you want and what you need. Plus without getting right with God, even death won't give you rest or comfort, only judgment and eternal suffering without any hope. We have all sinned and God will judge us one day for that, unless we accept His solution, which is to allow Jesus to take our sins, by asking Him to forgive us.

Get a Bible and start reading it. God speaks to us through His word, which is the Bible. Just start reading the Gospel of John and ask God to show you who He is. If you really want to know Him, He will show you who He is and help you. It is up to you. You can continue the way things are, or you can kill yourself and seal your fate and eternal punishment, or you can allow God to show you how much He loves you. You owe it to yourself to at least see, don't you?

Ralph

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