I feel worthless, and I know about God, but even I feel he does not love me sometimes. I have no one to talk to, I have tried to talk with God, but I just get fed up, and I am tired of saying the same things over and over. All I do is push people away and sometimes I feel that I pushed God away. I have so much negativity in my life, jealously, low self-esteem, depression, bitterness. I am so alone I have noone I can talk to.
My response is in Green:
I will tell you that God does love you. I know that because His word says He does. You mentioned that you have tried to talk to God, but you did not mention if you have accepted Christ as your Savior or not. That is the absolutely first thing you need to do. We are all sinners and we need to be forgiven by God in order to have a relationship with Him. If you have not done so, I urge you to ask Jesus to come into your life. Just admit to Him that you know you are a sinner and that you need His forgiveness.
You enumerated some of the things you need to take to the Lord: negativity, jealousy, low self-esteem, depression and bitterness. These are sins and you need to ask for forgiveness and ask for help in changing.
Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, or in other words against people and things of this world, then we can't fight it with things of this world. Ephesians 6:10-18 (NIV) 10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
You need to start reading your Bible often because it will help strengthen your faith: Romans 10:17 (NIV) Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.
God can help you but you have to allow Him and you have to want help. You mentioned that you get fed up talking to God and you are tired of saying the same things over and over. That makes me think that you are having a one way conversation with God. You are demanding or maybe even asking nice that He do things for you. That He take care of this or that for you. That is not a relationship, that is talking to a genie in the sky. That is not God. He wants a real relationship with you, that means real talk, not demands. You were able to tell me how you felt, have you ever talked to God that way? Have you ever told Him that you realized that you life in on the wrong track and that you need Him to take control?
Negativity is a choice and you have to fight it. There are not magic pills, it takes work. Look around at the good things around you. You can't tell me that God has not blessed your life in some ways, so find them and thank Him for them. Ask Him to show you more places where He has blessed you and help you to focus on them. God sent His only Son to die for your sins!!! Don't ever forget that. You take each breath because He gives it to you. If you have accepted Christ as your Savior then you are a child of the King. He is preparing a place for you to spend eternity. If you keep that in mind you will be surprised how little the things of this life mean. The Bible calls our lives nothing but a mist that disappears, yet we get so hung up on that event which is not even as large compared to eternity as a grain of sand is to the universe. The problem is our eyes are focused on the wrong thing. We focus on here and now, instead we should focus on eternity. It would change a lot of lives if people would remember that.
Don't let Satan destroy the joy that God offers you.
E-Mail Ralph (Whose comments are in green)