I have tried lots of things to try and turn my life around, and to just be happy. I don't really know where to turn now. Since I was about 10 years old I haven't wanted to live, I don't know how I got this far. I have told my family I am unhappy but nothing comes of that. I think that they think I am going through a phase, or something, but now I am 16 and I still feel the same. I've told my parents on two different occasions that I am unhappy and how much I hate my life but it always blows over and never comes up again till I bring it up. They have even told me they would get me help, but that's all they do: they just "say" it. My older sister was diagnosed with depression and I think my mother has had the same issues. I have attempted to end my life several times and i either just get really ill or i collapse and seem to fall even deeper and more unhappy. I have tried to turn to god and I always feel like I am trying for nothing. When i was little I asked him into my heart but i don't feel like he's really there. I am unhappy and confused.
My response is in Green:
I get a lot of messages like the one you sent me. I answer them all the same way, what you need is Jesus Christ. You were created to have a personal relationship with God, until you have that relationship you won't feel fulfilled or happy.
The basic premise of you life seems to be to be happy, but is that logical? What I mean is that is this life just about being happy? If so then we are all in a lot of trouble, because this life will not make you happy. Look at the people who 'have it all.' Are they happy? Most aren't. They get divorced and have to dry out from alcohol or drugs all the time. They want more of whatever it is they have, whether that is money or fame because once they get some they realize it did not make them happy. They think maybe if they get a little more it will finally make them happy. It won't.
That is the problem with living your life just to be happy. That is not to say that you won't ever be happy, because I will tell you how you can be. What I am trying to point out is that when a person thinks their entire existence on this earth is just so that they can be happy, they start off with a misconception which will just make their life that much more frustrating.
You may be wondering what I think our existence is for if it is not to be happy. Well, I think that we were created not only to have a relationship with God but to bring Him glory. We were originally created to enjoy His love and His other creations (the earth and the animals, etc...) but that got messed up when sin came into the world. Sin came in because Adam and Eve did not believe that God had given them everything, they were fooled by Satan telling them that God was holding back. They wanted more, and what they got and what we ended up with was much less.
After Adam and Eve sinned God placed a curse on the earth and all of creation. From that point on anyone born would have to struggle in one way or another to survive. We are still living under that curse today, but we don't have to. We can go to God and ask Him to forgive us for our sins and help us. See part of the curse on creation was death. God is holy and demands death to anyone who sins. We all sin, so we are all sentenced to death. But God loves us so He made a provision for us, by sending His Son, Jesus to earth to die for our sins. After He died for our sins God raised Him up again to live and now if we will believe in Him and ask Him to forgive us He will. Then you can be free of the curse. Your physical body might still die but you won't. You will live forever with God.
The second benefit to this is that you will finally be able to be happy. I searched all over for something to make me happy, just like you. I thought of suicide and started to think all of life was like that, but after I allowed God to come into my heart, things changed. I am happier now then I have ever been.
I would urge you to get Bible and read it. Find out who God is and how much He loves you. You can also go to my page and see who Jesus is: http://www.behindthebadge.net/jesus.html
Don't settle for living your life wanting to die, or being depressed all the time. You don't have to live that way. God loves you and does not want you to live like this: Romans 5:8 (NIV) But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Give Him a chance, you won't be sorry. After all what have you got to lose?
You also need to think about what death brings. As much as God loves you He is still a holy God whom you have wronged, just like every other human. Romans 3:22-23 (NIV) 22 This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God... This passage says that we have all sinned, but it also says that if we believe in Jesus, or in other words that He did die for our sins, then we can be saved. God does not want anyone not to know Him, but His holy nature demands payment for our sins. Either we allow Jesus to pay for them or we will pay for them for eternity in hell.
People get upset with me for talking about punishment and hell, but that is reality. If you don't accept Jesus Christ as your Savior before you die you will go to hell; period. There are no second chances and no way out once you are there. What a shame that people would go there when all they had to do was accept the free gift God offered them.
I hope you will allow God to help you.
E-Mail Ralph (Whose comments are in green)