Will God forgive me if I ask Him just before I pull the trigger?

I was just reading your passages on will god forgive you for committing suicide... Don't you believe that if God gives me the choice to live or die and i say to the lord before i pull the trigger of a gun "Lord please forgive for the sin i am about to committ... dear lord i love you with all of my heart, and I want to be with you, the pain of the earth has become to much to bear for me, my heart and my mind... Lord forgive me for my sins and the sin i am about to committ, for i am ready to walk hand and hand with you."

do you know think the lord will forgive you for your sin, even though it is premeditated, i am still asking for forgivness?

My response is in Green:

Let me ask you a question before I tell you what I think. If I walk up to my wife and I tell her that I love her with all my heart and then ask her to forgive me for hitting her in the face with my fist, and then after asking for forgiveness I hit her, do you think she will forgive me? Do you really think that she will believe that I love her with all my heart if I punch her in the face?

I think you just answered your own question about whether God would forgive a person who commits suicide too. (Galatians 6:78 NIV) [7] Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. [8] The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

If you truly love God with all your heart you would not commit suicide. Suicide is a selfish act which tells those left behind that what you wanted was more important than what they would have wanted. It also tells God that you want to be the god of your own life and don't care what His plan for your life is.

If you have confessed your sins and believed in Jesus Christ, then you no longer belong to yourself, you belong to Him because He died to pay your ransom. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV) [19] Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; [20] you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Take a close look at this passage. It says that whether we live or whether we die we do it not for ourselves but for Christ. The point being that it is up to Him if we live or if we die and how we die. (Romans 14:79 NIV) [7] For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. [8] If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. [9] For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.

Any time a Christian gets to the point where they are contemplating suicide there is a problem and that problem goes back to their relationship with Christ. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not talking about a person who is not thinking straight for whatever reason. I am speaking of a person like you who calmly tries to decide if they can commit this sin and still be forgiven afterwards. (Matthew 16:24 NIV) Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." To follow Christ we must deny ourselves, that would mean even denying the desire to leave this troubled painful earth. We must deny ourselves and allow Him to decide when we will leave this earth to be with Him.

He does not leave us alone. He tells us to deny ourselves and follow Him, but with that comes some promises: (Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV) [28] Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. [29] He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. [30] Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; [31] but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Unfortunately all too often the message of Jesus Christ is preached today so that people think that following Christ will mean wealth, health and happiness. It will mean all of those things one day, but don't be fooled we will have tribulations and trails in this life. Look at the disciples, all with the exception of John were martyred. John was not martyred but he was placed in boiling oil and survived. Yet they all counted it as great joy to we worthy to suffer as Christ suffered. I am not saying we should want pain and suffering or to be martyred but we should not be surprised by the difficulty we encounter in this life either.

How can we know if we are truly a disciple? (1 John 2:3-6 NIV) [3] We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. [4] The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. [5] But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: [6] Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did. If we choose to do things which we know are sins, such as commit suicide, then do we fit this description of a true follower of Christ? But don't think that Jesus is a hard taskmaster He isn't. (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV) [28] "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. [29] Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. [30] For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I am sure you have already figured out my answer to you question. No, I do not think you can ask for forgiveness just before you pull the trigger and still go to heaven. If you truly love God with all your heart, then put that love into action by denying yourself and following Him. He will help you no matter what turns you life takes. There is nothing that is hopeless other then being separated from God for eternity.

Let me also assure you that you are not the first believer to want to die. The Bible is full of people who also felt that they wanted to die. Let me show you a couple: (2 Corinthians 1:8-11 NIV) [8] We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. [9] Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. [10] He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, [11] as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many. Paul said that they despaired even of life, and that they felt the sentence of death. That would not be good news if you did not read on. He says that this happened so that they would learn not to rely on themselves. He also goes on to say that the prayers of other believers helped them.

If you are not in fellowship with other believers you need to get there. You need the support and the accountability that comes from being part of the body of Christ. None of us can do it alone, we need each other. That is why we are called the body of Christ, we need each other to function. Don't rob yourself of the support you could have if you are willing to reach out to others. There are needs in the Body that you can minister to also.

Some times we get very discouraged. Look at what Elijah told God. Notice that he did not think of killing himself, but he asked God do take his life. (1 Kings 19:3-6 NIV) [3] Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, [4] while he himself went a day's journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. "I have had enough, LORD," he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors." [5] Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep.

All at once an angel touched him and said, "Get up and eat." [6] He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.
Notice also what God did. He did not take Elijah's life but rather sent an angel to help him and give him strength. He will give you strength too if you will allow Him to.

You made the statement that you would tell God that you just want to be with Him. Well you know there are a lot of us who feel that way, but we understand that is not our choice to make. We should long for Christ's return and we can pray for that return to be soon, but we must place our faith in Jesus and keep our eyes on Him, which means allowing Him to decide when and how we die. You also said you would say to Him that you were ready to walk hand in hand with Him. Again that is great, but now is the time to do that. Do it in this life. If you can't trust God to help you thought this life, how will you ever be able to trust Him for eternity?

I hope you will think long and hard about what I have said, but even more that you will get out your Bible and see what God has to say to you. He loves you and does not want to see you in pain, but He is not ready for you in heaven either. I can guarantee you of that. How do I know for sure? Because you are still breathing. If God was ready for you, you would not be taking even one more breath.

Ralph

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